Part3--Danni

  

   Hi, Crystal. I am Danni. 😀😀😀After reading your blog, I can easily get your idea and also learn a lot from it but there it is still some problems in your blog.

  I want to say something good in your blog.👍👍👍 Firstly, the example of James is a really good part. After this example, I can have a deeper and clearer understanding of your statement because it is really fit your main idea. Secondly, you change some important sentences into red which makes me get your point easier and some “!!!” can make me have more fun when reading it. 

However!!!!! I still need to say some problems🙅 in your blog. Firstly, to be honest, I think your idea of American is general which is like what I can search on the internet. For example, “A better life can be achieved through unremitting struggle” is really really similar to the general American dream and your main statement “space and opportunity for free development” is really similar to the idea of equality. Secondly, I think the explained sentences need to be more detailed. For example, you never mention “space” or “opportunity” in your explanation but in my opinion, it needs to talk about what it is in the explanation. I think you just write the result which can get from “space and opportunity” but not explain them. Thirdly, I think you lose some personal examples of yourself to explain your idea. The personal example is a really important part to show the creativity in part 1. Hope my comment can help you.☺☺